John Oliver
John Cornelius "Funky Stuff" Oliver is half of the superhuman duo (which also includes Andy Zaltzman) that is responsible for The Bugle, (default source of news worldwide). Oliver moved to New York city in the United States in 2006, and is therefore well placed to bring the news from the western side of the Atlantic to the Bugle. Education and Training (Please note that for the sake of this article, at least, Oliver’s career started October of 2007 with the release of the first issue of the Bugle, and consequently all activities previous to this date are considered under the category of Education and Training) *Attended Cambridge University in the subject of the English as a Second Language. (Luckily for Oliver he is British, and therefore everything he says is by definition correct English). *Vice-President of the Cambridge Footlights 1997-1998. *A variety of television and radio programs on various BBC outlets; notably and the Department with his fellow Bugle birther Andy Zaltzman.(According to Oliver a CD containing all Episodes of 'The Department' will be released "the same day that you can first don ice skates and pirouette across the fiery rivers of hell". A joint undertaking of Buglers worldwide to drill a hole to hell and cool it with fluid oxygen has since proved unsuccessful.) *Appeared in an episode of 'Green Wing', as a car salesman. *Prominent member of the National Youth Theatre. *Appeared in several episodes of 'Mock the Week' on BBC2, until he was banned for having a beard. *Has swam with a turtle, the name of which was not disclosed (though some conspiracy theorists believe that the turtle in question was the offspring of shamu and Florence Nightingale). *He has been trained to kill inflaitable balloon elephants with ninja stars. However, due to state laws he can only kill ones about to attack and has recently been banned from kids parties due to mass inflaitable genocide. *Stood completely still under an oak tree for thirty years. *Apprenticed under Sir Samuel of Blackwood as a knight. (He dropped out after two weeks) Career *Another Andy Zaltzman collaboration for BBC radio 4, Political Animal. *Writer and Correspondent for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (2006-present). *The Love Guru: 2008, playing character of Dick Pants (a role for which he apparently has been damned to the second ring of Hell for a millennia) *John Oliver: Terrifying Times, Comedy Special for Comedy Central 2008, with guest appearance Professor Andy Zaltzman. *Constantly following in the shadow of the comically engineered Andy Zaltzman to the point that he stole what was rightfully Andy's with the Daily Show, the movie, and the stand up special driving Andy to become a part-time super villain. *John controlled the New York drug trade from 1999 till 2005 until he got his current job on Mock the Week Controversial Stances John Oliver has his own cult known as the Oliver family. He is now wanted on 7 counts of first degree murder, two charges of destruction to public property, and as an accessory to a further count of grand theft velocipede. His harsh words have won him the vile hatred from Canada, Mexico, America, and the rest of the world. Save, perhaps, several islands in the South Pacific where he is considered the reincarnation of Roman Polanski (they are unaware that he is still alive) and they only mildly hate him for this. JOHN OLIVER IS A GAYWAD!!!!! Category:People Category:John Oliver